A lesson of time
Be like sea glass
As I sat in silence this morning and felt the sting of the past and grief pierce my heart once more. Unlike every other April for the past 18 years I chose to sit with it more, honor it and look for what it means in my life in the present moment. You see April is rough month for me my dad was diagnosed with cancer 18 years ago and died only months later and 10 years later my mom passed of cancer in April as well and then 18 years ago I had a dream where my brother flashed in with just his face and yelled Pin Head I am dead. (Yes that is what he called me) I awoke scared and shaking and thought wow that was real and woke up my husband. I could not fall back to sleep I kept thinking to myself maybe it is just the hormones as was I pregnant with my first child and caring for dad at the time. So in the morning I called my brother who lived in Buffalo N.Y. He did not answer I called many times that day and left messages with no response. I Just kept telling myself this cannot be happening, I have been intuitive my life and studying dreams since I was 13. But not in a supported way! I mustered up the courage to tell my family about the dream and how concerned I was. I couldn’t drive a block without getting sick so I could not go and they said it was just a dream and that I was exaggerating. My brother did sometimes fall off grid for periods of time. I kept calling people who knew him out there until finally someone answered and she went to check on him and sadly they found him dead in his apt. I woke up from that dream on April 21st 1999. They sent him for an autopsy and the estimated day of death was April 21st 1999. I dealt with so many emotions at once but most of all it was guilt. For not believing in myself more, but even worse accepting that my family didn’t either. No ever said they were sorry that they didn’t believe me and acted like I never said anything. I continued to care for my dad and assist my mom who was grieving her child.
As I sat in silence then with all the anger building in me I Vowed to myself to never be anything but myself and always be true to me no matter what. I started believing in my skills more and opening up more as that year I lost seven people that loved all of which came to say good bye in spirit before they left. Because once you pass you see the truth. I accepted each visit with an open heart. 1999 was the year I declared to work on me. And I have and will always continue to. I can finally after all years write and speak about it with a rush of anger, guilt and resentment. But instead I feel the grief and then let move on. It is a reminder on how I weathered my storms, a reminder of lessons I have learned. I gave this tiny person life this year as well. With all ending there are new beginnings, what we think is the worst thing possible could bring to where you need to be. All of my endings made me who am I am today and they hurt yes they did but I would change the universal plan even if I could.
Lessons I took from meditating on the beach with a piece of sea glass beside me. At first we feel broken and shattered into pieces, but the relentless sea will keep moving and those waves will keep coming no matter what, and we have a choice we can stay in a place where feel broken, or we can let it soften our edges and help us to shine brightly. Doing your work means feeling the pain, looking at the pain and no it is not all rainbows and butterflies it a dark place that as you do your work and acknowledge your pain and your past the light starts to break through and then is when you start to shine. This year I look back at 1999 and I thank it for lessons, I talk with my ancestors and with much gratitude for the lessons they STILL bring, and I celebrate their lives instead of grieving their loss. (As they are always with us) I hold space for myself and my family. April is a time of spring, a time of new beginnings and after many years of working on myself I welcome April with open arms and say to everyone be like the Sea glass and let your lessons even the most difficult one soften you.
Much love and blessings
I have been getting a lot of calls and messages about dreams in the past couple of weeks. Dreams that seem scary to people, dreams that people feel make no sense and very vivid dreams. All dreams hold meanings the slightest thing has sometimes the strongest meaning. I highly recommend that everyone keeps a dream journal as they will become your guide to discovering the meanings of your dreams. The best person to interpret your dreams is you! I can help guide you to find the meanings but only you truly know what is going on in your life, what your deepest fears are and how you react to what is going on.
But why such increase in dream states lately? It is the energy shifts that are happening around us. Causing us to take a deeper look at ourselves and helping us to push things to the surface so we are able to let go and move forward. Something’s to ask your self would be….
What am I afraid of right now?
What life changes am I dealing with?
What feelings have I been holding onto for too long? This includes traumatic events as well.
When we know some of this it helps us decipher our dreams in a much deeper way. So we having huge energy shifts, making life changes and while we sleeping our subconscious is talking to us, giving hints on what we need to do. Delivery messages to questions that you have asked answers for. Dreams are a gift that you are giving to yourself. So why not discover their true meanings. Some things to remember when dream journaling is if you only remember a color, shape, animal, place or person that one thing is very significant. So please write them down.
I have been working and studying dreams for 30 years now and I am always amazed by their messages. I offer dream interpretation sessions and offer classes on dreams interpretations. Check out my website for more information about dreams @ www.mary-joguadalupe.com or for class please find me on face book at mary-jo Guadalupe intuitive medium.
Wishing you sweet dreams,
With the winter months approaching the days will become shorter and the darkness will be setting in earlier. Many people suffer from what is called Seasonal Depression and it can become very difficult to function. Fatigue sets in and living your daily life seems almost impossible at times (Almost like a bear hibernating). I myself have suffered this in the past. I would love to share some ideas and tips that I have used to help overcome that feeling.
First remind yourself that you have everything it takes to overcome these feelings. Being positive and knowing you have the tools is key. Tell yourself that you are good and that you do Can this. Your body listens to everything you say and responds to it as well. So I always watch my thoughts. Is this easy to do? No, But you can do it! I have faith in you.
I will give some examples of what I do based on who I am.
I love summer when it is not too hot or humid. I love the smell of coconut, and the sounds of waves crashing along the shore. So I buy a few bottles of lotions such “as after the sun” lotions that I use in the summer and I apply it in the winter. It also smells of coconut, (yummy). I also use candles that I would use in the summer such as Sun and sand from Yankee Candle. I use light colors in my home that remind me of the summer months. I cook on my grill throughout the year. I order my favorite summertime foods even in the winter months. I also love swimming so I have a membership to an indoor pool. One of my most favorite things to do is lie on a towel on my floor with shorts and a t-shirt with sunscreen or lotion on and listen to a CD of the ocean and seagulls and I use memory recall and feel the sun warming my body. I am indulging all my senses to those that stimulate Joy.
The idea again is find what makes you happy, what is your happy smell? What food brings you joy? What sounds bring you peace? We are all unique and you need to find what works for you.
Some other tips are to get outside in nature. Nature is so healing. Go and smell the pine trees, go to the beach and smell the ocean. In the winter the evening sky is so clear and beautiful. Step out and star gaze. Go out and make snow angels. Another way is to bring nature inside to you. Plants help clear the air and are a great way to bring the outside in. Buy yourself some flowers and use pictures of nature in your home. I myself have many plants, pine cones, sticks and shells all over my home. Earthing is a great way to stay grounded and connect to mother earth but when there is snow and ice, this gets difficult. I buy some potted soil and run my hands through the soil as well as my feet. Taking a bath with sea salt works wonders and helps clear your energy at the same time. You may also want to speak with your doctor and see if you should take a vitamin D supplement as well. Himalayan Salt lamps are great to have in your home. I also suggest bringing some of the ideas that work for you to your work space as well. Your favorite plant, smell and a salt lamp will help you get through your work day better. And let’s not forget music. Music has the power to heal on so many levels. What is your favorite music? What gets you hips moving? Sing and dance in your kitchen, your car ECT.
I have used these techniques for years and it has worked great. I had to re-train my brain and body daily for a while and now it’s just like brushing my teeth. At the first sign that I feel that it is trying to sneak in I start my routine that works for me and I hope that some these tips will work for you as well. Please feel free to share what worked for you and together we can smile though the winter months.
Blessings and love,